My sister

I've been enjoying the way Chloe and Livia are interacting recently. As Livia gets older they can play together a lot more, which has it's ups and it's downs! We do get squabbling over toys and winding each other up but there are some really lovely moments.

Yesterday Chloe had a play date at a friend's house. Livia and I went to pick her up about 6 and were invited in for a few minutes. Chloe's friend is the youngest and she has an older sister; they both are really interested in Livia and were taking it in turns to show her round the house, helping her up the stairs and lifting her up to the fish tank (the mum had to step in at one point when they started fighting over her!). Chloe took this really well and seemed proud that her sister was so popular.

When we got home the girls came in and I was hanging the coats away. Out of nowhere Livia went over to Chloe and gave her the biggest hug, which Chloe was so pleased about. They were standing there for a few moments, Chloe's face pressed into Livia's hair. I have the image of it really clearly in my head (part of me wanted to run to take a picture but I just enjoyed it instead). 

It didn't take long before Chloe took something Livia was playing with again and Livia was shouting 'share! Mine!', but it's so special to have little moments of sisterly love. I have no idea how to cultivate it so I am going to just pray that God does it for me! Any tips anyone has then please let me know. 

Ground, swallow me now!

I've just had one of these moments where you want the ground to swallow you up. Chloe was invited to one of her good friend's parties, one she really wouldn't want to miss. However she has a real thing about parties at the moment; they seem to overwhelm her and she gets really funny when we first arrive. Jon was working so there was just me taking her and obviously I had Livia as well. The party had lots of animals so it wasn't the sort of party that little ones would enjoy; you have to keep really quiet so as not to scare the animals. So I really couldn't let Livia stay. At home Chloe seemed confident that she would be okay being left. 

However when we got there five minutes late and everyone else was sitting quietly watching, Chloe burst into loud tears. I then also had Livia squealing excitedly at the balloons and trying desperately to escape me so that she could go and play with them. This went on for a good 5 minutes! So I was standing there with a wailing child clinging to me and a toddler drumming her feet on the floor. The entertainer asked if the women at the back could keep it down because The animals could get scared. I don't think the situation could have been much worse really! 

Chloe was eventually coaxed into going to sit down by one of the older children at the party. i've now escape and have given my phone number to the organiser, saying that if Chloe gets upset I can rush straight back. Yeah, I'm glad to be out of there to be honest. Rahh! I'm hoping Chloe has a good time and it will give her confidence for the next party. I'm not doing that again!

Cosy family

I'm sitting watching my mum reading to Chloe and Livia after a very chilly school run. Chloe chose the book, Chloe asked Mum to read it and chose where to sit. Livia wandered over after they'd started and clambered into the middle of them. She just sat still listening and watching. I think she is often like this. She doesn't mind whether she's the centre of attention, she's just content being cosy in the middle of all the family. I wonder whether that's to do with her personality or whether it's a second child thing. I can understand that feeling, having a group of people who are familiar/comforting around you. It's nice to sit back and watch the action sometimes.

Weekend of 'us'

This weekend we have been away at my grandparents, spending time with family which we missed over Christmas. I've talked before about how my grandparents' house is such a happy place for me. Going there is like sinking into a warm bath - an 'ahhh' moment. I love that I can just be me, my children can just be themselves and we all are so well loved and looked after. And we love Nanna and Pops so much!

The last week has been testing from a behaviour point of view. Chloe has got to that awkward point where she is now pretty much better but is still acting as she was when she was ill. She is expecting lots of attention, to not have to mind her manners and to be given whatever she wants. It's been quite difficult! I sometimes feel it necessary to apologise or make excuses for her. But this weekend I increasingly have felt God reminding me that she is just a child and will act 'childishly' at points in her life, especially after a traumatic couple of weeks. 

I feel like I want to share this moment of having grace for children to be children with other parents who may have had a testing week. As I have said before, children aren't robots. Babies will have nights of being awake every few hours, toddlers will throw themselves on the floor in public, children will say 'yuck, I don't like this' at a relative's house, siblings will hit eachother, girls will fall out with school friends.  These are all completely normal behaviours. All of these will need challenging at points but some days it's ok to leave the battle for another day.

I'm feeling so much lighter this evening for having a weekend of just being 'us'. I hope I can pass a little bit of that on.

8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,

9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast.

Ephesians 2:8-9

We're out!

A happy post to say that we're now home! (Well, have been since Saturday, oops). We were discharged, despite Chloe's X-ray not showing improvement because, clinically, she was showing all the signs of being on the mend (eg - temperatures coming down, breathing ok without oxygen, eating and drinking ok). 

Since then we've been recuperating at home and it's been going very well! Chloe had 6 lots of antibiotics per day to begin with, which she didn't enjoy. On the day we returned home, it was noticeable how quiet Chloe was and not herself (even turning down sweets!). I suspect she was a bit traumatised from all she'd been through; I don't think I'll ever forget having to watch her being held down so the nurses could pull out the drain in her side and do up the stitch which had been left there. I can't imagine what it's like for her looking back on those experiences.

However, things are much better now. Chloe is running around with Livia and wanting to be entertained. She's almost back to normal. We had to return to hospital today to have the stitches removed and to have another X-ray. The stitches were traumatic but the X-ray was fine! It showed that there is improvement, despite a lot of cloudiness still on the right side. The only way you can tell now is that Chloe gets breathless very easily and has much less energy. Otherwise you'd never know!

I'm so thankful for the support of friends, family, the church, mums at school, colleagues and people I don't know well at all. It's been such a ray of sunshine (cheesy) to know so many people care about Chloe. I'm so happy it's over now (although I'm only really starting to process it all). A couple of days and I'm sure Chloe will be back to school.

Thank you Jesus for healing my little girl. I thank you for your angels watching over her. I thank you for holding our hands through the whole process and giving us the courage to face everything that was thrown at us. I ask now Lord that you will please bring complete healing and help us to return to normal life. Thank you, amen.