A quick post but I had to share my latest discovery - letting things go! Chloe has had a difficult few days. I'm not sure if it's the shock of a new baby starting to sink in or because we've been inside lots due to bad weather. She has been showing all the behaviours of a stereotypical stroppy toddler; ie - doing all she can to wind up mummy!
Today I realised that my usual coming down hard on bad behaviour wasn't getting us anywhere as Chloe was looking for a battle! This was clear by the fact she was announcing to me all the naughty things she was doing ha! So this afternoon I am trying to fight my controlling nature and acting completely bored and unimpressed by Chloe's antics. And it's actually working!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Making the most of it.
'As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field;
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.'
Psalm 103:15-16
Having Livia has made me really appreciate how fleeting the early years of childhood are. Already she is out of newborn clothes and is holding her head up much better. She has put on lots of weight and is staying awake longer and longer during the day.
I love to see her develop but it feels like Chloe changed so fast that I will definitely be more patient this time. I am loving my cuddly little baby and don't want to lose that yet! Especially as she may be our last (not decided completely yet).
This new appreciation for the stage we're in now has also given me more patience with Chloe. Yesterday I was listening yo her recite from her favourite set of Charlie and Lola books which she insists on reading at least once a day. Normally I feel sick to death of those stories but yesterday I felt really tearful! I realised it won't be long until she doesn't like Charlie and Lola anymore and she won't want to 'read' out loud to me all the time.
I'm thankful for this realisation as life has been very hard the last few weeks and it can be easy to wish for the girls to be less dependent on me. But today at least I am in no rush for them to grow up!
for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.'
Psalm 103:15-16
Having Livia has made me really appreciate how fleeting the early years of childhood are. Already she is out of newborn clothes and is holding her head up much better. She has put on lots of weight and is staying awake longer and longer during the day.
I love to see her develop but it feels like Chloe changed so fast that I will definitely be more patient this time. I am loving my cuddly little baby and don't want to lose that yet! Especially as she may be our last (not decided completely yet).
This new appreciation for the stage we're in now has also given me more patience with Chloe. Yesterday I was listening yo her recite from her favourite set of Charlie and Lola books which she insists on reading at least once a day. Normally I feel sick to death of those stories but yesterday I felt really tearful! I realised it won't be long until she doesn't like Charlie and Lola anymore and she won't want to 'read' out loud to me all the time.
I'm thankful for this realisation as life has been very hard the last few weeks and it can be easy to wish for the girls to be less dependent on me. But today at least I am in no rush for them to grow up!
Monday, March 11, 2013
'But one thing is necessary'
The verse in the title is from Luke 10 and the story of Mary and Martha. Martha is rushing around trying to be a good hostess for Jesus who is visiting their home and Mary is just sitting listening to Jesus. When Martha demands that Jesus make Mary help her, Jesus tells her that she shouldn't worry about so many things but that only one thing is necessary, ie - Mary has found that one thing in listening and spending time with Jesus.
This story was preached by a visiting speaker at our church yesterday. It came at such a good time for me; definitely God at work there! I have been having a tough time the last week. Without going into too much detail, I have been struggling to keep perspective when struggling with the pressures of 2 children and feeling like I can't cope. It's been very emotional and it took me a while to admit I needed support but I feel more positive now after talking to a few people.
This verse has reminded me that a lot of the things I worry about don't matter. It doesn't matter if I have to abandon dinner and it's not ready when J gets home. It doesn't matter if the laundry basket is constantly full. It doesn't matter if the thank you cards are a bit late in being written. It doesn't matter if Chloe acts up a bit before bed. It doesn't matter if I constantly feed Livia to get her to stop crying.
My health visitor came round when I was having a particularly hard day and was SO helpful. She reminded me that my children are people - they cannot be controlled, will never be perfect and I shouldn't measure how 'successful' I am as a mother on how the day has gone. This tied in with the preach yesterday; the only thing that matters is God's grace. We cannot win salvation through works. I will not be a good mother by my own efforts but God working through me.
Please God help me to remember you and walk with you throughout the day, especially when I am losing perspective. Thank you that you go before me and are protecting my whole family. Help me to have grace for myself, my husband and my children.
This story was preached by a visiting speaker at our church yesterday. It came at such a good time for me; definitely God at work there! I have been having a tough time the last week. Without going into too much detail, I have been struggling to keep perspective when struggling with the pressures of 2 children and feeling like I can't cope. It's been very emotional and it took me a while to admit I needed support but I feel more positive now after talking to a few people.
This verse has reminded me that a lot of the things I worry about don't matter. It doesn't matter if I have to abandon dinner and it's not ready when J gets home. It doesn't matter if the laundry basket is constantly full. It doesn't matter if the thank you cards are a bit late in being written. It doesn't matter if Chloe acts up a bit before bed. It doesn't matter if I constantly feed Livia to get her to stop crying.
My health visitor came round when I was having a particularly hard day and was SO helpful. She reminded me that my children are people - they cannot be controlled, will never be perfect and I shouldn't measure how 'successful' I am as a mother on how the day has gone. This tied in with the preach yesterday; the only thing that matters is God's grace. We cannot win salvation through works. I will not be a good mother by my own efforts but God working through me.
Please God help me to remember you and walk with you throughout the day, especially when I am losing perspective. Thank you that you go before me and are protecting my whole family. Help me to have grace for myself, my husband and my children.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
A safe place
It's taken quite a while to adjust to being back home with Livia. Everything feels so different now we have two! In an article I was reading about new babies it described each addition to a family as being a 'birth' of a new family; all is changed for every person in that family. Our experience with Livia in hospital has also had an effect which I want expecting.
When Chloe was born, my experience of the postnatal ward in hospital wasn't very good. I don't blame the midwives, they just seemed very understaffed and very busy. Chloe had issues feeding but I received very little advice and no-one got round to helping me express milk for her, so I resorted to formula (she later mastered breastfeeding at home). Add to that, a sleepless night on a noisy ward and very little idea of what I was supposed to do with my new baby and it wasn't a happy experience!
For Livia's birth I chose to go with a different hospital but still was fully expecting to want to hurry home as soon as I could after the birth. When things didn't go to plan and Livia was in special care, I still really wanted to go home and take her with me. Being on the postnatal ward without a baby was even worse! Thankfully the midwives were so helpful and taught me to hand express the evening Livia was born so she could have my milk in SCBU. They also took pity on me the third night and gave me a private room which you would normally pay for.
But the part of my stay in hospital which really surprised me was when I was on the Transitional Care Unit. I think I've talked briefly about this in another post but this ward is like a halfway house between SCBU and the normal ward. Mums are reunited with their babies but are watched closely and there are more restrictions on what you can and can't do. Feeds and nappy changes were all recorded and midwives were constantly on hand to help if there were any issues.
I was on TCU for 2 nights and 3 days and I have to admit that I really enjoyed my time there. I loved finally being with Livia and it was so reassuring to have lots of people around to help and advise with regards to feeding and settling her. There were only 3 women allowed in the bay so it was quiet and we got to know each other a bit. There was a sense of unity because we all had babies who had issues and we would compare notes on how they were progressing.
I think this really positive hospital experience made coming home quite difficult. I had enjoyed the help and the special time to focus on Livia. As soon as we were home there was suddenly so much more to think about. There was housework, presents and cards to sort through, people to visit and most importantly a demanding toddler!
I found my feelings towards Chloe quite confusing and upsetting. I was desperately pleased to be reunited with her but felt incredibly protective of Livia, especially as Chloe acted up a bit at first to regain our attention. I think because she sensed we were a bit tense and that everything was a bit different and being extra loud and boisterous was her way of coping.
I was seriously tearful the first few days back - missing hospital, feeling guilty I wasn't more pleased to be home and very anxious about not being able to cope. But thank you God for keeping me strong and giving me a wonderfully supportive husband! Things now feel fully back to normal. I feel like my relationship with Chloe is back where it was and I feel in control around Livia and not at all nervous. We have been out just the three of us this week and it has all gone very smoothly.
I wanted to be really honest about the feelings above because I believe that 'baby blues' can be such a difficult time and it takes a while to adjust to such a huge life change. But relying on the help of others and the grace and wisdom of God WILL get you through. Sending lots of love to anyone who is pregnant or soon to have a newborn x
When Chloe was born, my experience of the postnatal ward in hospital wasn't very good. I don't blame the midwives, they just seemed very understaffed and very busy. Chloe had issues feeding but I received very little advice and no-one got round to helping me express milk for her, so I resorted to formula (she later mastered breastfeeding at home). Add to that, a sleepless night on a noisy ward and very little idea of what I was supposed to do with my new baby and it wasn't a happy experience!
For Livia's birth I chose to go with a different hospital but still was fully expecting to want to hurry home as soon as I could after the birth. When things didn't go to plan and Livia was in special care, I still really wanted to go home and take her with me. Being on the postnatal ward without a baby was even worse! Thankfully the midwives were so helpful and taught me to hand express the evening Livia was born so she could have my milk in SCBU. They also took pity on me the third night and gave me a private room which you would normally pay for.
But the part of my stay in hospital which really surprised me was when I was on the Transitional Care Unit. I think I've talked briefly about this in another post but this ward is like a halfway house between SCBU and the normal ward. Mums are reunited with their babies but are watched closely and there are more restrictions on what you can and can't do. Feeds and nappy changes were all recorded and midwives were constantly on hand to help if there were any issues.
I was on TCU for 2 nights and 3 days and I have to admit that I really enjoyed my time there. I loved finally being with Livia and it was so reassuring to have lots of people around to help and advise with regards to feeding and settling her. There were only 3 women allowed in the bay so it was quiet and we got to know each other a bit. There was a sense of unity because we all had babies who had issues and we would compare notes on how they were progressing.
I think this really positive hospital experience made coming home quite difficult. I had enjoyed the help and the special time to focus on Livia. As soon as we were home there was suddenly so much more to think about. There was housework, presents and cards to sort through, people to visit and most importantly a demanding toddler!
I found my feelings towards Chloe quite confusing and upsetting. I was desperately pleased to be reunited with her but felt incredibly protective of Livia, especially as Chloe acted up a bit at first to regain our attention. I think because she sensed we were a bit tense and that everything was a bit different and being extra loud and boisterous was her way of coping.
I was seriously tearful the first few days back - missing hospital, feeling guilty I wasn't more pleased to be home and very anxious about not being able to cope. But thank you God for keeping me strong and giving me a wonderfully supportive husband! Things now feel fully back to normal. I feel like my relationship with Chloe is back where it was and I feel in control around Livia and not at all nervous. We have been out just the three of us this week and it has all gone very smoothly.
I wanted to be really honest about the feelings above because I believe that 'baby blues' can be such a difficult time and it takes a while to adjust to such a huge life change. But relying on the help of others and the grace and wisdom of God WILL get you through. Sending lots of love to anyone who is pregnant or soon to have a newborn x
Friday, February 22, 2013
Enough love
'...that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.'
Ephesians 3:17-19
It's taken me longer than I wanted to get round to jotting down some thoughts on how God helped me through my time in hospital with Livia and those early days. That's partly because life has been a bit mad since getting home and also there is so much I could put that it's hard to start!
Firstly I feel I should say that there was never a time when I worried for Livia's future or really about the infection she had. I think God reminded me of his faithfulness and I trusted in his supreme authority to get us all through safely. As well as this she never really seemed that poorly, even with all the tubes sticking out of her! It felt like most the tests were just precautionary and not because nothing major was wrong.
The hardest part of our stay in hospital was being apart from both my girls. I have only ever been away from Chloe for less than 2 days and one night, so suddenly being apart from her for nearly 6 days was really difficult! I would sometimes talk to her on the phone and she would get tearful and ask when I was coming home which made me so guilty, especially as there was nothing very wrong with me. I felt bad that our families were having to give up so much time to look after her too - I'm very bad at 'imposing' ourselves on other people.
Whilst I was on the postnatal ward I was mainly just sitting around, reading or watching tv. I went to see Livia in SCBU often but it's a really weird environment with lots of other parents standing around cots and the wires make it difficult to interact with your baby so I didn't stay for long periods of time. I was also having to express for Livia but could only ever manage to produce a few ml so they had to top her up with formula through a tube to her stomach.
This made me feel really useless as I felt I couldn't do anything for my daughter. I got upset a lot when J wasn't around as it felt like our family was all split up at a time when we should be together. Thankfully I have lovely friends who sent me verses and encouraging messages to lift my mood.
Here are some of the verses that helped me:
In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8 (applicable for all my family even when I wasn't with them, God was).
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.
8 The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore. Psalm 121:1-8
The verse at the start of this post from Ephesians helped me to see that even when I couldn't provide love and security for my children by meeting their needs and physically being there, God had more than enough love for them. He also had more than enough love for me when I was feeling so useless.
The final reassurance God gave me when I was feeling low was in reminding me about a picture I had shared in church the day before I went into labour. It was of Jesus going off with his disciples in the boat, the storm descending on them and Jesus calming the storm. God spoke to me about how Jesus doesn't stop them from setting out in the boat even though he would have known about the storm. He goes with them into it and it's in the storm that he gets a chance to show his power and authority. So, God was prepared to all that was happening in hospital and I just had to trust him and let him show me his goodness and power in that place. This was very reassuring when we didn't know what would happen next.
There is so much more I could put, especially about the emotional upheaval of eventually coming home but I think I'll have to save it as it's naptime and I want to try and get a sleep before the girls wake up! I'm very thankful for how God has used this experience with Livia to show me that I can trust him in every circumstance and when I can't be there with my children, he is watching over them.
Ephesians 3:17-19
It's taken me longer than I wanted to get round to jotting down some thoughts on how God helped me through my time in hospital with Livia and those early days. That's partly because life has been a bit mad since getting home and also there is so much I could put that it's hard to start!
Firstly I feel I should say that there was never a time when I worried for Livia's future or really about the infection she had. I think God reminded me of his faithfulness and I trusted in his supreme authority to get us all through safely. As well as this she never really seemed that poorly, even with all the tubes sticking out of her! It felt like most the tests were just precautionary and not because nothing major was wrong.
The hardest part of our stay in hospital was being apart from both my girls. I have only ever been away from Chloe for less than 2 days and one night, so suddenly being apart from her for nearly 6 days was really difficult! I would sometimes talk to her on the phone and she would get tearful and ask when I was coming home which made me so guilty, especially as there was nothing very wrong with me. I felt bad that our families were having to give up so much time to look after her too - I'm very bad at 'imposing' ourselves on other people.
Whilst I was on the postnatal ward I was mainly just sitting around, reading or watching tv. I went to see Livia in SCBU often but it's a really weird environment with lots of other parents standing around cots and the wires make it difficult to interact with your baby so I didn't stay for long periods of time. I was also having to express for Livia but could only ever manage to produce a few ml so they had to top her up with formula through a tube to her stomach.
This made me feel really useless as I felt I couldn't do anything for my daughter. I got upset a lot when J wasn't around as it felt like our family was all split up at a time when we should be together. Thankfully I have lovely friends who sent me verses and encouraging messages to lift my mood.
Here are some of the verses that helped me:
In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8 (applicable for all my family even when I wasn't with them, God was).
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life.
8 The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore. Psalm 121:1-8
The verse at the start of this post from Ephesians helped me to see that even when I couldn't provide love and security for my children by meeting their needs and physically being there, God had more than enough love for them. He also had more than enough love for me when I was feeling so useless.
The final reassurance God gave me when I was feeling low was in reminding me about a picture I had shared in church the day before I went into labour. It was of Jesus going off with his disciples in the boat, the storm descending on them and Jesus calming the storm. God spoke to me about how Jesus doesn't stop them from setting out in the boat even though he would have known about the storm. He goes with them into it and it's in the storm that he gets a chance to show his power and authority. So, God was prepared to all that was happening in hospital and I just had to trust him and let him show me his goodness and power in that place. This was very reassuring when we didn't know what would happen next.
There is so much more I could put, especially about the emotional upheaval of eventually coming home but I think I'll have to save it as it's naptime and I want to try and get a sleep before the girls wake up! I'm very thankful for how God has used this experience with Livia to show me that I can trust him in every circumstance and when I can't be there with my children, he is watching over them.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Another little girl!
This blog post is going to be all about the arrival of our second little girl who was born on 4th February at 12.30pm. For the purposes of this blog, her name is Livia (not her actual name - see About Me section for why). I'm going to keep it quite factual, partly so I have a record of everything that happened. And then hopefully in another post I can explain all that God has taught me over the last 10 days - which is a lot! I apologise if it is quite long but so much happened that it's hard to condense.
My waters went at 3am on the 4th after I had been up to settle Chloe who had kicked her covers off in her sleep. I woke J up and we started to run around the house packing last minute things and generally being in shock that it was all starting to happen 5 days early! My contractions started soon after and quickly became quite painful. I let my parents know they might be needed to watch Chloe - Dad wasn't amused as he had only just gone to bed after watching the Superbowl! At 5am I rang the labour ward to tell them what was going on. They told me to leave it a while and then call back, as I was managing ok and the contractions weren't really long enough or strong enough to warrant being checked.
At 6am the contractions had become quite a bit more painful so we called my parents and my mum came over to look after Chloe. We loaded the car and drove to the hospital; unfortunately the route included a lot of nasty speed bumps so we had to go very slowly as I was starting to really feel uncomfortable with each contraction. At the labour ward a lovely midwife came to talk to me and observe me having contractions. Unfortunately she wouldn't examine me to see how many cm dilated I was because my waters had gone and they didn't want to risk infection. Whilst I was there my contractions slowed down and were less intense so we were sent home, despite telling the midwives that my labour with Chloe progressed very rapidly.
On the drive home the contractions picked back up again and I only got to lie down for about an hour before J decided that I was in enough pain to go back to the hospital again. So off we went for the second time! This time when I arrived the contractions were so awful J had to drop me by the door to the hospital. I remember standing there waiting for him to park (it was really busy by this time) and people kept coming up to me to ask if I was ok, as I was clearly in a lot of pain! Finally we got the labour ward and things started moving very quickly!
This time I had a student midwife and her mentor looking after me, which wasn't a problem except that everything seemed to take a long time and a lot of discussion! I was soon asking for pain relief and was given gas and air. This took the edge off the contractions for a little while but I did begin to ask for an epidural too, knowing that it can take a while to get it all organised. Unfortunately my nightmare scenario happened and the anesthetist was unavailable in surgery so I was going to have to wait! Livia had other ideas and the contractions started coming very strongly and frequently.
Although my waters had gone earlier I still must have had some left (don't really understand this?!) and they went very dramatically at this point, hitting the student midwife! I'm sure I would have been embarrassed if I had been with it but I was well away with the gas and air. Very soon after this I had the urge to push and it was nothing like the count to 10 you see on the TV. I had no idea what I was doing - my body was doing it for me and was doing it very quickly! Livia was born less than 2 hours after we had arrived back at hospital.
I don't want to go into too much detail about what happened after this because it's not very nice reading but I had a few complications with blood loss and my uterus not contracting. Lots of people were suddenly rushed in and I think it gave J quite a scare. Sorting me out took almost as long as the labour in hospital and was quite a traumatic experience, which I have arranged to discuss with my midwife when I next see her because I'm still unclear on the details (I hung on to the gas and air throughout it so it's all very hazy!).
After this we had a short reprieve where I tried feeding Livia and she was weighed and checked over. Initially she was doing well but then started making some 'grunting' noises; sort of like she was trying to fill her nappy. I didn't think to much of it but the healthcare assistant who was with us said that she would need to get someone to check her out. She ended up being sent to SCBU (Special Care Baby Unit) and we were told that she needed some help with her breathing.
We ended up staying in hospital for nearly 6 days, as Livia showed signs of infection in her blood (the breathing sorted itself out very quickly). She had to have numerous tests and treatments, including a lumbar puncture and intravenous antibiotics. Thankfully she wasn't in special care for very long; after 3 nights there (2 nights for me on postnatal ward and one night in s private room) we were both moved to a transitional care ward so we could be together but still receive special attention. We found out at the end of our stay that Livia most probably had caught group B strep which causes pneumonia (which she had developed) and possibly meningitis (which she hadn't).
We came home on my due date - 9/02/13 - and we're now very happily getting used to life as a family of four!
My waters went at 3am on the 4th after I had been up to settle Chloe who had kicked her covers off in her sleep. I woke J up and we started to run around the house packing last minute things and generally being in shock that it was all starting to happen 5 days early! My contractions started soon after and quickly became quite painful. I let my parents know they might be needed to watch Chloe - Dad wasn't amused as he had only just gone to bed after watching the Superbowl! At 5am I rang the labour ward to tell them what was going on. They told me to leave it a while and then call back, as I was managing ok and the contractions weren't really long enough or strong enough to warrant being checked.
At 6am the contractions had become quite a bit more painful so we called my parents and my mum came over to look after Chloe. We loaded the car and drove to the hospital; unfortunately the route included a lot of nasty speed bumps so we had to go very slowly as I was starting to really feel uncomfortable with each contraction. At the labour ward a lovely midwife came to talk to me and observe me having contractions. Unfortunately she wouldn't examine me to see how many cm dilated I was because my waters had gone and they didn't want to risk infection. Whilst I was there my contractions slowed down and were less intense so we were sent home, despite telling the midwives that my labour with Chloe progressed very rapidly.
On the drive home the contractions picked back up again and I only got to lie down for about an hour before J decided that I was in enough pain to go back to the hospital again. So off we went for the second time! This time when I arrived the contractions were so awful J had to drop me by the door to the hospital. I remember standing there waiting for him to park (it was really busy by this time) and people kept coming up to me to ask if I was ok, as I was clearly in a lot of pain! Finally we got the labour ward and things started moving very quickly!
This time I had a student midwife and her mentor looking after me, which wasn't a problem except that everything seemed to take a long time and a lot of discussion! I was soon asking for pain relief and was given gas and air. This took the edge off the contractions for a little while but I did begin to ask for an epidural too, knowing that it can take a while to get it all organised. Unfortunately my nightmare scenario happened and the anesthetist was unavailable in surgery so I was going to have to wait! Livia had other ideas and the contractions started coming very strongly and frequently.
Although my waters had gone earlier I still must have had some left (don't really understand this?!) and they went very dramatically at this point, hitting the student midwife! I'm sure I would have been embarrassed if I had been with it but I was well away with the gas and air. Very soon after this I had the urge to push and it was nothing like the count to 10 you see on the TV. I had no idea what I was doing - my body was doing it for me and was doing it very quickly! Livia was born less than 2 hours after we had arrived back at hospital.
I don't want to go into too much detail about what happened after this because it's not very nice reading but I had a few complications with blood loss and my uterus not contracting. Lots of people were suddenly rushed in and I think it gave J quite a scare. Sorting me out took almost as long as the labour in hospital and was quite a traumatic experience, which I have arranged to discuss with my midwife when I next see her because I'm still unclear on the details (I hung on to the gas and air throughout it so it's all very hazy!).
After this we had a short reprieve where I tried feeding Livia and she was weighed and checked over. Initially she was doing well but then started making some 'grunting' noises; sort of like she was trying to fill her nappy. I didn't think to much of it but the healthcare assistant who was with us said that she would need to get someone to check her out. She ended up being sent to SCBU (Special Care Baby Unit) and we were told that she needed some help with her breathing.
We ended up staying in hospital for nearly 6 days, as Livia showed signs of infection in her blood (the breathing sorted itself out very quickly). She had to have numerous tests and treatments, including a lumbar puncture and intravenous antibiotics. Thankfully she wasn't in special care for very long; after 3 nights there (2 nights for me on postnatal ward and one night in s private room) we were both moved to a transitional care ward so we could be together but still receive special attention. We found out at the end of our stay that Livia most probably had caught group B strep which causes pneumonia (which she had developed) and possibly meningitis (which she hadn't).
We came home on my due date - 9/02/13 - and we're now very happily getting used to life as a family of four!
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
My little Tiger
This is a completely self-indulgent post so I apologise in advance. Before the baby arrives I wanted to write down all my thoughts about my beautiful girl Chloe from our time with just the two of us. I know I will still get precious moments with her after we become a family of 4 but I'm getting more and more aware that these last few days are really special and I will never have this is quite the same way again. So, here is a collection of aspects of Chloe's personality which I have learnt over her two and a half years...
The title of this post is inspired by Chloe's favourite soft toy tiger. When she was born she was given all sorts of soft toys - my favourite was a really soft, little rabbit with flowery patterned ears. For a while I took this rabbit around with us, encouraging Chloe to choose it as her special toy. But it didn't work and she has now made Tiger her no 1 teddy.
I don't think this choice has a huge significance but it does say something of Chloe's personality. She has never been the baby who is content sitting back watching the world go by or the toddler that shyly hides at the back of the group. She's the girl who runs and climbs and explores. She loves people and having conversations, even with complete strangers. She runs behind people she doesn't know in town and says 'I'm coming to get you!' She wants to be a part of everything, usually the centre of attention.
This 'tiger' personality also means she has a fierce temper and when she doesn't get what she wants, she will let you know she's not happy about it! She can be stubborn and determined, although this is often used in good ways too. I'm happy to say that although she can be 'difficult' at times, Chloe does respond well to correction and generally only warnings are needed and sometimes an opportunity to 'cool off'! She has presented issues with eating and sleeping at different times but has responded well to routines and enforced rules, showing that she is obedient and eager to please.
I don't want to go to too far with the tiger analogy as there is also a really soft side to Chloe. She is very caring and will always be the first to notice my mood - 'are you all right mummy?' She can always make me cry more if she has caught me having a tearful moment because she tries to wipe my tears away and says things like 'mummy's not grown-up today' (!) Chloe is very affectionate - weirdly calling me 'her prince' and stroking my hair. She will always be happy to see me when we've been apart and will tell everyone around that 'my mummy's back!' She also tells daddy she misses him on the phone and will run to the door for a cuddle when he gets in.
Chloe has an amazing imagination and has picked up a huge vocabulary already. She was slightly behind in physical development but has taken to talking very easily ha! She entertains herself with imaginary friends, visits to the shops/dentist/optician etc, she does pretend painting and has tea parties - all of these largely without props. Chloe loves to 'read' her books, especially the ones she knows off by heart (Charlie and Lola being the favourites). If she doesn't know a book or she is looking at one of our books with no pictures, she will make up her own story.
There is so much more I could put but i know it is impossible to sum up a personality in a post like this. I love my daughter very much and accept her just as she is, realising that God has made her unique and perfect, although not without sin like the rest of us. I thank God SO much for how faithful he has been at helping me to shape Chloe so far and I know it will be the same with the new baby. I am very excited about learning all about my new son or daughter and all the aspects of their personality too.
The title of this post is inspired by Chloe's favourite soft toy tiger. When she was born she was given all sorts of soft toys - my favourite was a really soft, little rabbit with flowery patterned ears. For a while I took this rabbit around with us, encouraging Chloe to choose it as her special toy. But it didn't work and she has now made Tiger her no 1 teddy.
I don't think this choice has a huge significance but it does say something of Chloe's personality. She has never been the baby who is content sitting back watching the world go by or the toddler that shyly hides at the back of the group. She's the girl who runs and climbs and explores. She loves people and having conversations, even with complete strangers. She runs behind people she doesn't know in town and says 'I'm coming to get you!' She wants to be a part of everything, usually the centre of attention.
This 'tiger' personality also means she has a fierce temper and when she doesn't get what she wants, she will let you know she's not happy about it! She can be stubborn and determined, although this is often used in good ways too. I'm happy to say that although she can be 'difficult' at times, Chloe does respond well to correction and generally only warnings are needed and sometimes an opportunity to 'cool off'! She has presented issues with eating and sleeping at different times but has responded well to routines and enforced rules, showing that she is obedient and eager to please.
I don't want to go to too far with the tiger analogy as there is also a really soft side to Chloe. She is very caring and will always be the first to notice my mood - 'are you all right mummy?' She can always make me cry more if she has caught me having a tearful moment because she tries to wipe my tears away and says things like 'mummy's not grown-up today' (!) Chloe is very affectionate - weirdly calling me 'her prince' and stroking my hair. She will always be happy to see me when we've been apart and will tell everyone around that 'my mummy's back!' She also tells daddy she misses him on the phone and will run to the door for a cuddle when he gets in.
Chloe has an amazing imagination and has picked up a huge vocabulary already. She was slightly behind in physical development but has taken to talking very easily ha! She entertains herself with imaginary friends, visits to the shops/dentist/optician etc, she does pretend painting and has tea parties - all of these largely without props. Chloe loves to 'read' her books, especially the ones she knows off by heart (Charlie and Lola being the favourites). If she doesn't know a book or she is looking at one of our books with no pictures, she will make up her own story.
There is so much more I could put but i know it is impossible to sum up a personality in a post like this. I love my daughter very much and accept her just as she is, realising that God has made her unique and perfect, although not without sin like the rest of us. I thank God SO much for how faithful he has been at helping me to shape Chloe so far and I know it will be the same with the new baby. I am very excited about learning all about my new son or daughter and all the aspects of their personality too.
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