Swimming lessons

My new favourite time of the week is 8.30 on a Sunday morning. It may sound like madness to most people, creating more to do on a Sunday before church, but I am really enjoying Chloe's early morning swimming lessons! We decided this would be the best time because it doesn't intrude on family time altogether and it also means that one of us (me) can take Chloe and one of us (Jon can stay with Livia. I didn't fancy trying to get Chloe changed with a grumpy toddler who also wants to swim.

We have found that swimming lessons have actually made Sunday morning less stressful; we are fully prepared for the rush with bags ready and alarms set. Rather than the panic we normally get into when we realise we should have been got out of bed ages ago!

I love watching Chloe swim. At the pool where she has her lessons, there is a viewing platform up high where parents can watch but not interfere. I'm loving seeing Chloe enjoy the water and grow in confidence. Her teachers are really lovely and she's getting to know the children in the class. In pleased to say Chloe seems to be getting over her shyness and goes in with no issues. After the lesson we head back up for a leisurely coffee (what I'm doing now!), before heading down the road to church. Lovely!

Life can be tough

In the last few weeks I've had several conversations with ladies who are finding life tough. It has come at a helpful time for me because I had been stressing a bit about me finding things difficult and how I felt like I was the only one. It feels like God is reminding me that I'm not abnormal - life is difficult sometimes. And he's giving me people who I can confide in because they have confided with me.

It's been interesting because these have mostly been non-church ladies. I can see how friendships like this can become places to bring the Gospel in. I'll give you an example of a conversation I have had. A mum from Chloe's school invited me round for a coffee and confided in me that she sometimes really dislikes school pick-up time because she feels stressed about whether she'll have mums to talk to. I was touched by her honesty and could then tell her that I frequently feel the same. We've met up several times since and I am thankful for our friendship.

I am thankful that I have my faith to hold onto when I find life tough. I am also grateful for developing friendships where I can share emotions and feelings and offer/receive support. Sending lots of love to anyone reading this who is struggling; reach out to God who understands completely. 

'God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.'  Psalms 46:1

Faithfulness

A quick thought for the day from me. This week I've been reminded of how GOOD God is (He deserves the italics and bold font!). Sometimes I struggle to believe this; I know it deep down but don't always let this be reflected in the way I live my life (by praying less or having faith less for example). 

I've had some great answers to prayer recently, which have gone beyond what I was asking for. One which I can share, was a pretty fab lesson observation which I was stressing about. Everything went smoothly, all the pupils showed off their knowledge well and the activities I planned seemed to work! And I had great feedback so I'm really pleased. All I asked God for was to get through it and He went way beyond my expectations. 

Thank you for being such a generous God. I'm sorry for the times when I doubt this. Help me to learn that your answer is not always 'yes' but that you are always good.

The girls' friendship

I've spoken plenty of times before about how I love watching the girls' friendship grow. It seems to get better as Livia gets older and isn't just the little sister who breaks things or can't understand things. Alongside that the bickering is getting worse too but generally they're not too bad.

I thought I'd record  a few of their 'moments' together:

- In the morning you will normally hear Livia calling, 'Come one, Nenna!', wanting Chloe to get down from the top bunk and come and play.

- Chloe is quite nurturing with her sister and will pull Livia onto her lap or put her arm round her is there's a programme on tv which Livia finds scary (eg - Zingzillas!).

- Livia will on the rare occasions run to her sister and give her a huge, bear hug. Chloe is always thrilled about this!

- Chloe is taking over the role of organiser and wil come up with games to play. Livia will gladly copy her sister for a while. At the moment they are making a big den out of pillows and duvets in their room whilst J and I have a few more minutes in bed!

I love these little stories. They are a good reminder of the good moments when the girls start shouting 'mine' and getting too rough with each other!

Spring feelings

We've had such a lovely weekend. Yesterday was our first meeting with our new 'Connect Group', which is all to do with families. These new groups are supposed to be getting away from the traditional midweek group model and moving out into the community. We had an informal meeting at a coffee shop in town which is next to a soft play, which seemed to work really well. Coffee with friends is always a good start to a weekend I think!

We then went to goodbye party for some friends who are moving abroad in the afternoon. And then today Chloe had her first swimming lesson at 8.30 before church. It was very successful and Chloe was much more confident at going straight in than I was expecting (hooray!). Then straight to church, which was a really nice service and I felt a lot more relaxed than I have recently at church. Then to add to Chloe's busy day, she had a riding lesson with two friends from school (which was a special treat we had promised her ages ago for being brave in hospital). It was nice to spend some time with mums from Chloe's school too.

To add to all of this, the weather has been beautiful and I'm feeling so thankful for the beginning of spring, which I really need right now. I'm getting that itchy-feet, need to get outside kind of feeling. Life has been a bit confusing and hectic recently and I feel like my head is slightly clearer and calmer now. So, thank you Jesus for friends, church, good weather and fun family times.

Limitations

I've been thinking recently about my limitations - could be a really negative post but im actually finding it really freeing! I'm especially feeling the pressure at work at the moment. Our GCSE course is not proving very popular for next year which has been quite disappointing. So I have been pouring my efforts into making the year 9 course more interesting to try and change the pupils' minds! But it's a lot of work without any guaranteed result at the end. I'm having to realise that I can't be the 'perfect' teacher and my lessons aren't always going to be super exciting. I'm also having to admit that it's quite likely I won't be able to convince anymore pupils to sign up to the GCSE. It's a hard one to accept.

I think this can also be a lesson that needs to be applied to parenting. Some days we have to settle for the microwave meal, to cancelling a play date or missing one evening of reading homework. There's no such thing as a 'model parent'. I had this brought home to me when Chloe was in hospital over Christmas. I wanted to do all the stays overnight and not really leave the hospital. But after 4 nights of interrupted sleep and being on edge a lot of the time, I had a reminder of my limitations when I was woken at 6am by Chloe having her intravenous antibiotics. I hopped out of bed and was standing next to her but the nurses were having trouble flushing the cannula. Chloe started sobbing because it was hurting her; the nurses reassured her but carried on. The emotion of Chloe being in pain and watching the needle in her arm being moved about meant that suddenly I felt very strange and the next moment I fainted, cracking my chin on the side of Chloe's bed! J insisted after this that I go home that evening and he would take over. Point taken!

If you are struggling in an area, realise your limitations. Ask someone for help or take steps to make life easier. It's not failure but realising that you are only human. More importantly I know that I need to remind myself often that this parenting malarkey only works with God's help. Thank goodness it isn't down to us!

The long view

One of the benefits of parenting a second child is that you have a much better understanding of the long view. You know that children go through stages, that they aren't a 'finished product' and if you don't feel like you're doing very well in one area, there is plenty of time to work on things. You can take a long term view of the situation and not panic about the present. If I could go back in time and talk to myself as a first-time mum, this is definitely a message I would want to share!

One aspect of parenting where I'm trying to remember the long view at the moment is when Livia is fussy at mealtimes. She has suddenly hit the stage where she has an opinion about what she's eating and she wants to push at our boundaries. Breakfast and lunch are generally ok because they're very similar every day. But dinner times are becoming tricky. She is fine with meat and two veg (although if she can help it, she won't eat the veg!) and any type of tomatoey pasta. There are a few other meals she'll eat well but anything which we don't have so regularly, she will turn her nose up at.

We've had all sorts of protests at the table: spitting food out, throwing it on the floor, banging it with her spoon, tipping it on the table, pouring her drink in it. If Livia can get attention by misbehaving with a meal she doesn't like then she will try anything! It's hard work and also dispiriting when you've put a lot of work into a meal.

I remember this stage with Chloe and having major panics about how she was becoming 'a fussy eater' (such an unhelpful label). I projected her current behaviour into her future and had visions of her becoming one of these children who will only eat fish fingers! Now, I know that these stages pass. And they will arrive again! Chloe still goes through times of being more fussy. She isn't perfect at trying new foods but has a wider repertoire of foods she will eat. I don't feel we did anything revolutionary to move through fussiness; just kept offering a variety of foods and not giving an alternative if a meal was rejected. 

When I feel frustrated at Livia, I will remind myself again (and again), that she is 2 and still learning lots. In the long view I am confident that she will eat a whole variety of foods and be excited about new things. And I know that God will keep teaching me about parenting and give me greater wisdom in dealing with difficult situations.