Provision

It's super late and I've got to be up at 6.30 tomorrow for Chloe's swimming so I'm just jotting down a thought for the day. This week I have had a lot going on. Every morning it's felt like I've been asking God for something that's felt really big or at least important to me (an observation at work, leading prayers in chapel, preschool places, gaining planning permission, BBQ going smoothly). And it has felt a bit this week that I'm asking too much. Like I'm being greedy by asking God for so many things and he'll get to the point where he stops answering my prayers. But in the things that have happened already He has shown his goodness and provision; it really shouldn't surprise me! I'm thankful that no-one can give like God does and there is no cut off point. Grace upon grace! Thank you Lord.

Feeling unwell

Today I don't feel too good. It's nothing terrible but that general coldy, scratchy throat, pressure in head, itchy eyes, feeling a bit shivery kind of ill. I have been feeling it coming on the last few days but had work and didn't feel ill enough to not go in. But today is Saturday so I've decided it would be wise to have a morning of resting and missing the things I had planned to have a sleep and hopefully be back to myself this afternoon. It's not too much to ask is it?

However with children this is seriously difficult. Chloe didn't like the fact I wasn't communicating enough with her or playing the games we normally play so was doing all she could to annoy me. This ended up with me in tears which then made her cry. Then J removed the children downstairs but they kept escaping! Chloe wanted to eat breakfast in bed with me and Livia came in saying 'I love you mummy' and climbing on top of my head. 

Then there are all the little dramas downstairs that are hard not to get involved in. Like Chloe wanting her pens for drawing, not her pencils which J found for her; or Livia playing with the light switches over and over. Then there's the awareness of all the jobs that J is being left to do, like breakfast, getting the girls dressed, doing their hair and teeth, getting the bag ready etc. It's hard not to feel very guilty when you're just lying in bed.

I will get my rest. Just when they've all gone out! 

May/June favourites

I've seen lots of bloggers/vloggers do their monthly 'favourites' before and I thought it might be a nice way for me to document some recent things I've been enjoying when I don't have many exciting adventures or events to share. So here are some from May and the start of June.

- Chloe's tea party with Nanna. When we recently visited my grandparents, my Granny (known to Chloe as Nanna), pulled out a child's tea set which she had been given 2nd hand. We have tea sets at home but not like this one; it was real China and was hand-painted, very special in Chloe's eyes. Nanna put some diluted squash in the tea pot, water in the milk jug and sugar in the sugar bowl (yep, lots of sugar but it was a one off!). Chloe loved pouring the tea and adding the water and sugar. The sweetest part was that she then insisted on 'having a chat', asking how my husband was and telling me all about her job as a doctor. Clearly this is what she's learning from coming with me for coffee, haha! Nanna loved it!

- The garden. I love being outside at the moment and the nice weather is really helping. I like it for allowing the girls a run around or just being outside instead of cooped up playing the same games. Try love the sand pit and the climbing frame or finding bugs and making a home for them. But I also really like being outside by myself when Livia is napping or watering the plants while they're having their TV time. It's a little place of peace in our hectic lives.

- Church family time. As life is so hectic, sometimes it is difficult to get quality time with people from church. Even when I'm meeting up with people or having a chat at church, if the children are around, it can feel very superficial and it's so hard not to be distracted. But in the last few weeks I've had some lovely quality time with people, at events like parties and also individually. There's something about popcorn, a blanket, painting nails and watching something trashy (thank you friend if you're reading!).

- Dogs. This post is getting a little long but I do feel I have to mention that I am getting seriously broody for a puppy. We have been thinking about getting one for a while and it's becoming more likely. I spend too much time looking at puppies online and staring at other people's dogs!

Thank you Lord for all the wonderful things you put in my life. I'm sorry that I soemtimes get weighed down by the bad. Help me to count the blessings more often.

Chloe and marriage

We had a funny conversation with Chloe today about a boy she has decided she wants to marry. I'm not sure what it is which has made her like this boy, as a few weeks ago she said she didn't like boys and wasn't going to invite any to her party! But the other day she came out of school and declared that she loved him and then gave him a big hug before being dragged away!

I don't really know what to make of it all to be honest. Chloe is only 4! I think it comes from watching lots of Disney films and wanting to be like the princesses who fall in love. Anyway, onto the conversation today. She called us up to her room after going to bed and asked us 'how do I know if Liam (name changed!!) is going to be a baddie?' We asked her what she meant and she reminded us of a conversation we had recently about how not all grown-ups are good (Chloe had said this once and we were worried about the implications of thinking all adults were well-meaning so had to correct her). 

So Chloe was concerned about committing herself to a marriage with a boy who may not turn out 'good'. We reassured her that she doesn't need to decide for a long time and she should only worry about being good herself and having lots of friendships. I liked J's final thought when he told Chloe that 'when it's time, we'll help you decide.' I doubt that will happen but it was still sweet!

The Cotswolds/Warwick Castle

On Sunday we travelled up to the Cotswolds, visiting Cirencester and Bourton on the Water. We went to Cirencester first and were a bit disappointed when it started raining as soon as we arrived! We sheltered in a coffee shop (dogs seem to be allowed in every shop/pub/cafe in Cirencester, which I love). We then looked around the church in the town centre (a woman gave Chloe a picture of one of the carvings to find) and then had a picnic lunch in a park behind the church; it had stopped raining at this point but we did get a little soggy! Thankfully it was sunny(ish) for the rest of the day.

We enjoyed looking around Cirencester's little boutique shops. We loved a dining room table and chairs which had been painted in different shades of chalk paint but it's not quite the right time to buy them yet. We also bought the girls sticker books which would come in useful later. I have taken school trips to the museum in Cirencester before and since we had more time to kill, we took a trip there. I thought it would be beyond Chloe but she was really interested and kept asking me questions about the Romans. I was pretty chuffed to share my interest with her. 

Our next destination was Bourton on the Water which had been recommended to us by my mum and dad. It's a really scenic Cotswold village with the traditional yellow stone buildings and a wide but shallow stream running through the centre. It is so popular because the stream is perfect for paddling in and has little bridges straddling it. Fronting the stream are some gorgeous cafes and restaurants. I would really recommend a visit. We paddled and wandered through, had ice creams and finally went for dinner at a restaurant called The Croft. 

We spent the night at a hotel in Warwick and then today we have visited Warwick Castle, which is now owned by the Merlin theme park group. Part of me hates the commercialisation and money-grabbing side of this (a hefty entrance fee plus loads of extras to pay for like parking & other attractions) but I have to admit that they have done a great job of bringing the castle to life. There was so much to do and we spent a good 8 hours there. The highlights were the Princess Tower, a trebuchet demonstration and the Time Tower which told you the history of the castle in really inventive ways. Chloe was pretending to gallop around on her horse and Livia was surprisingly interested too! 

We are currently doing the typical parents-in-a-hotel-room thing where we lie as still as possible and hope the girls go off to sleep. They are very excited by their day but also completely exhausted so I'm hopeful for a good night!

Time together

This week is half term. It was the nicest feeling finishing work on Friday and driving to pick Chloe up from school, knowing that we were all going to be together for a week. J has taken holiday too, so I'm super excited about quality family time. 

This time last year we went on our holiday to France - I can't really believe it's been a whole year! I documented the trip with blog posts and I'm keen to do the same this week. After being a bit quiet on here recently, I'm missing keeping a record of family life so it will be nice to get back into it. We aren't going abroad this time but have a couple of days away in the Cotswolds and then visiting family and friends in the Midlands. 

It's currently 6am in the morning; neither of the girls are awake and I went to bed at gone midnight last night after watching Eurovision with a friend, so I really should be asleep. But I'm too excited to get packing and start our day. Hooray for holidays!

Girly girls

I have been wondering recently about Chloe and her growing love for all things 'girly' (as she says!). As soon as she gets home from school, she rushes upstairs and changes into a dress (it has to be a twirly dress!). She then goes into my room and rummages under my bed to find a pair of heels. She will sometimes ask for the tiara I wore as a bridesmaid and then totter round, pretending to be a princess.

Some of Chloe's friends are allowed to use make-up at home. I think it's mostly only a bit of lipgloss and some of them have make-up for dance shows. But it still makes me uneasy. Chloe went to a friend's party and came home with a bit of make-up on - mostly glitter and a bit of lipgloss. I said to her that for a party I didn't mind too much but we believe she's too little to use make-up at home. It does worry me that she already feels the need to (in her words) 'make myself look pretty'.

Do I need to be worried? I'm sure little girls have been dressing up in their mummy's shoes and dresses for decades. And Chloe sees me putting on make-up, so why shouldn't she be curious about it? But I desperately don't want her to grow up to quickly. I already feel a little sad thinking about her 3 year old self who wanted a monster party and would choose to dress up as a knight instead of a princess. I want to foster all sides of her personality and not lose her to the pink, glittery world of 'being girly'.