'Mummy, did you have a good day at work?'

Yes, my 3 year old daughter actually asked me this question this evening. I was a bit taken aback but really touched by her thoughtfulness (ok so she was probably mainly copying how I always ask her if she has had a good day, but hey, still impressive to me!). We then had a really nice conversation about what I do at work. I've never really shared with Chloe about the school I work at ('it's called a boarding school so some pupils live there', 'only girls are allowed at mummy's school' and 'we eat dinner all together in a big hall'). She was really interested and kept asking 'and then what?' Se enjoyed hearing stories about pupils being 'naughty' the most. We then had to play schools whilst the girls had dinner (Livia was the teacher). 

It was nice to combine my two worlds and share that part of my life with Chloe. She even learnt some Latin...

Me: 'puella means girl.'

Chloe: 'that sounds like poo. Ugh stinky!'

Ha! And back to being a 3 year old :)

Fragile

I have noticed a change in Chloe the last couple of weeks, due to her growing up rather than anything that has happened (I think). She seems much more 'fragile' all of a sudden. She has always been my fierce, confident, headstrong little warrior. It is very rare that she will cry on being left or be intimidated by a situation. Or at least that is how I have viewed her. But recently I have been reminded of how fragile and precious she is and how she needs protecting and encouraging.

Chloe is suddenly becoming worried and fearful of things. I think this is partly due to an amazing imagination but also more of an awareness of consequences. 2 year old Chloe might be told she can borrow something but must be careful not to break it and she will swing it around, sit on it and not really care. However this situation happened to 3 year old Chloe today and she has been worrying about breaking it since ('mummy you must be very careful, hold it in two hands!'). She is also fearful of the dark and being outside after it's dark (which is so early now!) and also of roads and being hit by a car. In the car park the other day she became upset when I went to pay for the parking because she thought I might be hit by a car.

I also saw a fragile side to my daughter when I went to help out at her preschool on Monday. I was really intrigued to see Chloe interacting with the other children and what she was like in an environment where she was more independent. However, with me there, she didn't want to leave my side and was upset when the other children want to play with me. There are some loud characters there, even louder than her, and she seemed quite intimidated. I felt so protective of her in this new social environment.

I feel a little unsure of how to support Chloe with these fears. I try to encourage her and reassure her without saying that she is silly for feeling this way. I remind her of God's love for her and that he's always with her. I'm now aware that I probably need to have a softer way with her than I have before. I love discovering new things about my children. Knowing Chloe's weaknesses has made me love her more. I have that fierce mother's desire to protect and fight for my daughter and her little heart.

Disney love

Now Chloe is old enough, we have started to make our way through all the old Disney films. So far we have watched Jungle Book, Aristocats, Robin Hood, Cinderella and Peter Pan. Chloe LOVES Peter Pan! All her games at the moment are pirate-related.

We also have a Disney CD in the car so I can't escape it! But I must admit that I am really enjoying all the Disney. There's something so magical about the castle appearing at the beginning and that sense of anticipation which I had as a child before the film began. I love how enchanted Chloe is with the stories and how they capture her imagination. 

Hurrah for snuggling under a blanket (perhaps with some chocolate treats!) and settling down for a Disney film all together. 

"Can a woman forget...?"

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. 

Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me."

Isaiah 49:15-16

I am thankful this evening for the love that God has given me for my children. I thank my Heavenly Father for giving me a glimpse of his love for us through the way I feel towards my two girls.

I want to protect them, fight for them and pick them back up. I want to encourage them, teach them, lead them and challenge them. I want to strengthen them, empower them and build them up. I want them to know I am always proud of them and love them no matter what.

It really upsets me to see stories of children neglected or mistreated by their parents. We can't believe it when we hear those sort of things. It seems like it has always been this way; the verse from Isaiah above asks, 'Can a woman forget?' 

Thank you Lord that even when mothers do 'forget' (or neglect or mistreat), you have us engraved on your hands, always remembered. I love you Father. I want to learn from your example.

LOUD

Children can be so loud! I know this is an obvious statement but I am really struggling with Chloe's loudness at the moment! To the point where I am wondering if it normal and if we should get her hearing tested. She does have recurring ear infections so I suppose it is possible her hearing has been affected. What do you think?

When she was a baby it was funny when she made loud noises. Now Livia is finding her voice, we often praise her for babbling and squealing. But with Chloe at age 3, it is so much harder to accept! She will shout when she's playing make-believe games, scream when she's frustrated, shout to get our attention, sing at the top her lungs etc.

I don't want to be a spoilsport or not allow Chloe to be a child but I can't take the noise all of the time! I do sometimes get comments about how loud she is so perhaps I am justified in wondering if it is normal? I think I will book a dr's appointment just to get it checked out so we know.

It's funny how children love to make noise. Livia loves to find something which she can happily bang on our wooden floor. She went through a stage a couple of weeks ago where she would scream (in a happy way) all the time. It got a few strange looks when out shopping!

Maybe I'm just destined I have noisy children! I think it comes from having a noisy husband ;)

Praying for wisdom for when to challenge the loudness and when to let it go. And for grace to accept my children as they are.

Unhappy day

Do you ever have days where your children all seem to be unhappy for some reason? We are having one of those days. Chloe was up several times in the night because of bad dreams again (as far as I can tell). Then Livia woke at 5am having been sick everywhere! Cue complete bed change etc.

Despite lack of sleep I was actually feeling quite positive this morning. We went out to a park with my mum and brother who is visiting at the moment. Chloe was not in a cooperative mood and acted like Miss Stroppy Pants most of the time. Livia was still feeling poorly with an explosive nappy and not wanting her milk. So not a hugely successful outing!

Then after Chloe got back from preschool this afternoon it was clear something had happened which had upset her. I couldn't work out what it was and Chloe 'didn't want to talk about it' (when did she become a teenager?!). I think it's to do with not being the part she wanted in the Christmas play which they have been rehearsing. I rang the preschool to find out more but had to leave a message as it's closed for the day. I'm not sure if this was the right thing to do as it led to complete meltdown for Chloe. Perhaps this means that she is being over-dramatic, that nothing really happened happened and she is now embarrassed? 

Whilst this was all happening I tried to put Livia down for a nap, as she's been carted around all day without a proper sleep. But because she's feeling unwell she did not want to be left and also started crying. Two very unhappy children!  

Thankfully they have both fallen asleep - Chloe on the sofa next to me and Livia in her cot. Perhaps all this unhappiness is because of a hectic weekend (fireworks!) and resulting tiredness. Who knows!

Home x

When we first got married we didn't have much money left over to set up a home. I was also only 20 (yes, 20) and, to be honest, home decor was not on my list of interests. We quickly went out and bought enough Ikea furniture to keep us going; begging and borrowing the things we couldn't afford to buy. I did make an effort to make the house look nice (a pot plant here, a feature wall there); but I didn't give much thought as to what I liked.

At the moment we are going through a bit of an uncertain stage for various reasons and it means that for now we will be staying in our current house. In one way this isn't so great as it is a small 2 bedroom house with only one living area which doesn't leave much space for our 2 children to spread themselves around in. In another way it's great: we love the area where we live - the school we are hoping for Chloe to go to is nearby, there's a fun park, lovely neighbours etc. We have never had trouble here and I would love to stay in this neighbourhood.

Staying in this house has made me all the more determined to make it feel like 'home'. We have embarked upon several projects in the last year; most notably upcycling a sideboard and creating a 'favourite poem canvas' for our living room. I'm not the most crafty person but enjoy simple home-improvement projects. I love having compliments on things we have worked on ourselves. It's also a fun activity to do with J in the evenings.

Our next task is to paint the living room and up the stairs. We are thinking of doing two adjoining walls in a grey/green or duck egg blue colour with the rest white. We will then replace our dark curtains to bring more light into the room too.

I'm already feeling so much more satisfied with our home now that there are a few more personal touches and we have replaced some of the furniture that felt impersonal and bought for convenience not style. And I should mention that this has all been done very cheaply! If you work on something yourself you have the pleasure of creating something unique and getting it a lot more cheaply!

I realise this post is probably stating the obvious and many people do projects like this all the time and it's no big deal to them. I wanted to share because I am trying to change my mindset about 'needing' a new house and being content. This verse has been challenging me recently:

But godliness with contentment is great gain

1Tim 6:6

I know that at the right time God will provide a new house for us but until then I need to be content with where we are. One way I can do that is by making it a place where my family can express themselves and feel relaxed.