We've had a bit of a stressful morning going into town to do some shopping for our holiday. I'm not sure why but Chloe has woken up today with an extremely short fuse and was definitely not in the mood to look round shops! We try to make shopping fun for her by letting her walk some of the way, stopping at the soft play provided by the shopping centre and stopping for lunch/coffe and a cake.
Today Chloe was having none of it! The worst part was stopping for lunch at Debenhams cafe, where we got Chloe a kids lunchbox which consisted of a ham sandwich, crisps, fruit, juice and a 'treat'. Yesterday she ate almost exactly the same lunch when I was out with my antenatal friends but today she refused to have any sandwich or fruit and only wanted the crisps, which we were limiting until she ate some more 'healthy' food. This trick usually works but Chloe suddenly lost it and was throwing food on the floor, screaming, hitting etc! I'd never seen her like this before, especially about food so I was completely caught off guard. I think J was just as horrified as I was, as the people round us turned to watch her temper tantrum. We hurriedly distracted her with the juice and ate our lunches as fast as possible!
The rest of the outing carried on in a similar fashion, with Chloe sticking out her lip about everything and occasionally screaming in protest in the middle of shops. I suspect there is some underlying cause for her behaviour today, as this was very extreme for her! Maybe her molars are coming through?!
The thing that surprised me today was that I didn't get as annoyed or stressed as I usually do when she plays up. Instead I felt a real surge of love and grace towards my angry little girl. It upsets me to think that she can get so frustrated and angry at the world at her age and pushes away our attempts at showing love towards her. When I put her to bed Chloe wouldn't hug me and instead had a tantrum about having a nap at all. I didn't take offence but told her I loved her no matter how she behaves. God is softening my heart so that I don't get worked up and let my disappointment with Chloe's behaviour affect how I love her. It's completely his work and I am so thankful for it! As J and I were discussing in the car, children aren't given to us as perfect little packages but they're given to us without knowing how to behave or what is acceptable. I now pray God will help me to teach Chloe how to handle these fustrated emotions in a better way!
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