It's been over 10 weeks since Livia was born. I can't believe how quickly time is going; but I guess every mum must say this! I feel like I've been in a little bubble of nappy changes, night feeds, Peppa Pig and toddler groups and I'm just starting to get my head around life 'on the outside'! I'd forgotten how all-consuming having a newborn can be, especially when you are breastfeeding and need to be on hand at all times.
So how are we getting on with two pre-school children? On the surface things are going very well. We manage to get out every day and usually on time. Livia is feeding very well and putting on the right amount of weight. She is a great sleeper and has started going 8pm - 4am and then 7am wake up for the day. So we're getting plenty of sleep which always helps. Chloe is still going to all her usual clubs and groups; she is even starting pre-school next week (more on that later).
However I have found this whole transition to two children very emotional. It can be so hard juggling both their needs and I have had to battle against niggling feelings of guilt. For example when Livia is having a fussy time in the evening but I have to put her down to make Chloe dinner. Or when Chloe has been asking all morning to play a game and I haven't had time because Livia has been feeding/needing nappy changes etc. I don't yet feel 'in control' which I am discovering more and more is very important to me (maybe wrongly so!). But my health visitor has been very helpful when I've felt I've needed some support and my family too have been offering a helping hand. I have started a baby massage course with Livia which is giving me quality time with her and the preschool sessions will also help with this.
I have found it quite hard to connect with God at this time because my brain is so full of baby/toddler 'stuff'. I am really enjoying a Bible in a Year app by Holy Trinity Brompton which is great for providing short Bible passages with commentary which I can read on the go; there's something amazing about reading God's word whilst standing in a cold playground! I have a few Bible verses which I keep coming back to and one is 'love never fails' in Corinthians, as part of the 'love is patient...etc' passage. I have written about this passage before and how great I think it is for applying to parenting. When I feel like I can't give my girls all that they need or that I am failing in any way, I try to remember this passage and know that as long as I'm loving them then I cannot fail.
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