Working mum

Work and being a mum can be a really divisive subject, can't it? In Christian circles, I think as a working parent you can be viewed as not as good as the mummies staying at home full time. I think there are good reasons behind the emphasis to stay at home. It is really important to me that I'm the main person who teaches my children their values and beliefs (along with J but obviously one of us needs to work!). I feel that if I worked full time, or even most of the time then that would be very difficult. I also want my children to know that I love spending time with them and prioritise that above work.

On the other side of the argument, it is very difficult to have one parent staying at home nowadays. And I'm not talking about maintaining the type of lifestyle we are used to, but actually having enough to meet basic needs. We have to be careful that our emphasis on staying at home doesn't make those less fortunate feel bad about themselves as parents. Many amazing parents have to work to have a family in the first place.

Having said all of that, there is another side to being a working parent too. I work as a secondary school teacher two days a week. I got the job after we bought our house, so our mortgage and budget were all based on J's salary. It was not purely financial reasons that made me go back to work; money was tight but I think we could have chosen for me to stay home if we had wanted.

I love being a teacher and I feel like I gain so much from my job. I love the creativity of planning lessons, the satisfaction of getting pupils through exams, giving my brain a workout by teaching difficult topics, working with teenagers who are complex but fun(!) and being a 'professional'. For me, giving up work altogether would feel like a real sacrifice.

I'm still not sure whether this is a good way to be. Should I want to be with my children all the time? I'm don't know! I am currently going through a bit of a tricky situation at work. We are introducing a new course in my department, which is super exciting and great for our subject. However this means my head of department and I need to up our hours. As my boss is adding to her timetable, I feel like I need to as well. The school have been great about not putting pressure on me, but I feel like to be a team player and fair to everyone I need to be flexible too.

I think for me that this is the hardest part of being a working parent. If you are a conscientious worker and do a job you really care about, you can want to commit yourself as much as you can. However this can often conflict with family time. As a teacher I have this aaaall the time. There are always inset days, school events, parents evenings etc, which are outside my hours but which there is pressure to attend. It's hard to work out which to go to and which are less important. 

In the end I suppose work is a matter of personal conscience. I know God has given me a love for my subject, a passion for teenagers and the skills to do the job.- As a mum you can sometimes give give give without any direct reward and feel like you're losing sight of who you are. Being a mum takes over everything else! Getting away for two days helps to give me back my perspective. I love coming back home and being with my girls again; in no way do I prefer being at work to being at home. I appreciate both but if I had to choose, my girls would win every time. I think it is important to acknowledge that being at home all the time can be hard; I am sure this contributes to postnatal depression. One way to make this easier is to get out of thehouse for a bit. This can be work, like me, but it could also be to do with other interests (craft, sport, blogging etc). Having interests outside of being a mummy helps you to remember who you are and that you are important, not just your children.

Ok that was quite longwinded. You can tell this is on my mind at the moment! I think we've come to a happy balance in our family and I trust God will give me wisdom in making decisions about next year. I am thankful that God has so much more wisdom than me and that he has grace for mums at home and working mums alike.