What people like about me

Part of Chloe's homework this week was for PSHE. We had to help the children fill in a sheet with questions about themselves. The first question was: 'what do people like about you and what I like about myself.' I was intrigued to see what Chloe would say and decided to chat about it over dinner (as this was the only chance I was going to get!).

Chloe took a while to answer but eventually said 'my colourful summer dresses.' I smiled and nodded and asked if there was anything else. She said, 'and my coat' (a girl in Chloe's class recently said she liked her coat and since then, she's been mad on it!). I pushed again but still got only clothes!

When I explained that the question meant more the way she acts or the way she is, rather than how she looks, Chloe came up with some nice things. Like the way she makes pretty pictures for people. Or invites people to her house. They weren't really attributes, more acts of kindness.

This got me thinking; should I be concerned about Chloe immediately suggesting that it was her physical appearance which people liked about her? In previous posts, I have mentioned that I try to comment on her personality and praise her with specific aspects of her behaviour, rather than always saying  that she's 'beautiful' or 'gorgeous'. I've often told her that she's good at sharing or kind or clever. But it seem that it's the 'pretty' comments that have stuck!

I'm not too worried. I figure that it's more because children don't think in terms of abstract concepts. It is easier for them to think of things they do for others or which they own. But I will step up the efforts to reward behaviour and aspects of her personality, instead of putting emphasis on appearance. To me this seems like such an important grounding!