Identity

When you become a parent, especially a mum, I don't think you ever realise how all-consuming having a child is! It is so hard to switch off and when your children are around you end up giving everyone else only half your attention. For me this has been a struggle, as sometimes I just want to 'switch off'. Even when Chloe is sleeping I still feel the responsibility of getting things done before she wakes and being alert to when she cries. It is easy to feel like your identity has been lost and you are no longer the person you were before. Your needs are now second and you live to please this little person who has taken over your life (or that's how it feels!).

I have found that it is so important to cling onto your interests, hobbies, friends - things that aren't 'baby-related'. I believe that it does not make you a good mum to do nothing apart from care for your children. Children learn hobbies and interests from their parents and it is good for them to see that they aren't the only thing in your world. I was thinking this today as I had a leisurely cup of tea in the staffroom at work. And then again when I was showing a video to a class on the amphitheatre and discussing Roman gladiators which the girls all loved! I am so happy that I have found a job I love that can be flexible enough to work around my family. Having 'me' time and a chance to switch off from baby things is so refreshing and it is a joy to then come home and be greeted by my little pickle :)

The whole going back to work question can be a tricky one and sometimes parents are forced back to jobs they don't enjoy because of necessity. But this post is more about the importance of getting away and being 'you' rather than 'mum'. So date nights, evenings with friends, days out etc. Time with family is very precious but I believe that those times are made even better by discovering your own personality and interests again and being able to share those with your children. So watch out Chloe - you'll be learning Latin very soon!