If you have children already or probably even more if you don't but want a family some day, I would suggest that we all have high expectations of the values that will be important for our family. We read a book when I was pregnant which got us to write down all the values that would be important to us. The top ones were all about being loved and accepted no matter what. Immediately after were values like treating others with respect, being obedient straight away, sharing and being generous with people who come to our house and displaying Jesus to people wherever we go.
When you have your baby you can still have these high expectations for how family life will be - a little baby still seems so mouldable (is that a word?!). I'm discovering that as that baby enters the toddler years you start to wonder whether those expectations are realistic! I certainly can't claim that Chloe is obedient straight away at the moment! It has made me think about whether those expectations are too much and whether I should settle for something less. Having high expectations is tiring, as you have to work very hard to get anywhere close to them. It also puts a lot of pressure on your child and can make you view them in a bad light, especially when they always seem to fall short.
This sounds very negative but I think it's a big reality and one which can be hard to come to terms with. Children aren't born with the values you have for your family - you have to mould and teach them and that is hard work! Like most aspects of parenting, you can draw a parallel with God and us. He has very high expectations of us... but he also has 'grace upon grace' (John 1:16) for us. So we can learn from the best Father by not lowering our expectations for our children but by having buckets and buckets of grace! This can be very difficult but like anything that is hard I really believe that if God has charged you with looking after children then he will help you in this. As Chloe kicks and screams as I try to change her nappy God will give me the strength to love and forgive her!
No comments:
Post a Comment