Has feminism made us selfish?

A quick thought I had this morning was over J's packed lunch for work. I have never made his sandwiches for him. It's always been something where I've thought, 'he's a grown man, he can make his own lunch.' Quite mean-spirited of me really! 

But this morning it dawned on me that J happily looks after my car for me (checking oil, topping up the water etc), he deals with all our bills, manages our finances daily, deals with utilities companies etc etc. He also helps out lots with the children. He definitely isn't the fifties-styles dad, coming home and putting his feet up whilst I wait on him. 

So what's gone wrong? Obviously there are jobs I do which J doesn't; I take on responsibility for the children's medical appointments, preschool/school matters and general organisation of the house and I'll do the majority of the laundry and cleaning. But what about the sandwiches? When it comes to a job that's done solely for my husband, why do I struggle?

I believe that feminist attitudes which make us think that women shouldn't be waiting on men, can influence how we act in marriage. I wanted to resist falling into the stereotypical 'woman at home' image but this can make me selfish and mean-spirited. What happened to the Biblical model of out-doing each other in showing love?

So next week I am going to surprise my husband by making his sandwiches. Not out of subservience but out of love and appreciation for all he does for me.

'And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.' Colossians 3:14