The long view

One of the benefits of parenting a second child is that you have a much better understanding of the long view. You know that children go through stages, that they aren't a 'finished product' and if you don't feel like you're doing very well in one area, there is plenty of time to work on things. You can take a long term view of the situation and not panic about the present. If I could go back in time and talk to myself as a first-time mum, this is definitely a message I would want to share!

One aspect of parenting where I'm trying to remember the long view at the moment is when Livia is fussy at mealtimes. She has suddenly hit the stage where she has an opinion about what she's eating and she wants to push at our boundaries. Breakfast and lunch are generally ok because they're very similar every day. But dinner times are becoming tricky. She is fine with meat and two veg (although if she can help it, she won't eat the veg!) and any type of tomatoey pasta. There are a few other meals she'll eat well but anything which we don't have so regularly, she will turn her nose up at.

We've had all sorts of protests at the table: spitting food out, throwing it on the floor, banging it with her spoon, tipping it on the table, pouring her drink in it. If Livia can get attention by misbehaving with a meal she doesn't like then she will try anything! It's hard work and also dispiriting when you've put a lot of work into a meal.

I remember this stage with Chloe and having major panics about how she was becoming 'a fussy eater' (such an unhelpful label). I projected her current behaviour into her future and had visions of her becoming one of these children who will only eat fish fingers! Now, I know that these stages pass. And they will arrive again! Chloe still goes through times of being more fussy. She isn't perfect at trying new foods but has a wider repertoire of foods she will eat. I don't feel we did anything revolutionary to move through fussiness; just kept offering a variety of foods and not giving an alternative if a meal was rejected. 

When I feel frustrated at Livia, I will remind myself again (and again), that she is 2 and still learning lots. In the long view I am confident that she will eat a whole variety of foods and be excited about new things. And I know that God will keep teaching me about parenting and give me greater wisdom in dealing with difficult situations.